How to tell if my friend is gay
So, it happened. You have a devotion on a ally. Whether it’s your first time or you find yourself in a pattern here, you’re not alone. It’s a time-honored tradition in the queer people to fall for a friend. Don’t panic! Here at Autostraddle, we’ve been giving people counsel on this topic for over a decade, and today I’ve helpfully compiled that advice into this overall mentor that will hopefully enable you to totally crush this friend crush. Whether that looks appreciate “making a relocate and taking things to the next level” or “moving on,” we’ve got the tools to help you figure it out.
Of course, there’s no one way to deal with a love interest on a comrade, as our often varying and even contradictory advice from different perspectives will show! But we’re going to endeavor to cover as many sides as possible here, so you can select and choose which suits you and your situation.
This guide is mainly geared toward situations in which the confidant you have a crush on is queer. My genuine advice for anyone crushing on a straight friend is to take some space from that friend while you can and operate on adjusting some of your expecta
How Do I Help My Lgbtq+ Friend?
by D’Ann Davis
“How do I help my gay friend?” This is a question we catch constantly in the Living Dream office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world. Twenty years ago several Christians asked this question, for few knew any same gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were ignorant to their friend’s struggles. Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as male lover or deals with a measure of same gender attractions. Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of being where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this doubt is of utmost importance in light of the change of our culture and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly talk about their issues. So how does one help a gay-identified ally or SGA friend?
The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question. “Does your friend know Jesus?” This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attempting to help a friend deal with her sexual attractions. This is because there are two different ro
Understanding the Situation
Sexual orientation is a personal matter, and unless your friend explicitly tells you, you can never be 100% sure. However, if you’re wondering whether your confidant might be homosexual, either because you suspect they’re struggling with their persona or you believe they might own feelings for you, it’s important to approach the topic with sensitivity and respect.
Here are some common signs that might indicate your friend is queer and how to navigate the situation without making assumptions or making them uncomfortable.
1. They Shun Talking About Their Love Life
If your friend dodges conversations about crushes or relationships but is comfortable talking about every other aspect of their animation, it might be because they’re not ready to talk about their sexual orientation.
Examples:
- They change the subject when someone asks about their matchmaking app life.
- They rarely refer any romantic interests.
- They seem uncomfortable when discussing relationships with the opposite gender.
This doesn’t necessarily indicate they’re gay, some people are just private, but if combined with other signs, it might be a clue.
2. They Show a Strong Interest in LGBTQ+ Topics When Your Best Friend Tells You He's Gay
Gay people are engaged in an ongoing struggle to own their rights recognized and respected. As a linear person talking primarily to other straights. I aspire to support all who are oppressed because of their sexual orientation. The focus on gay men as opposed to lesbians is only a reflection of my personal knowledge.
A year ago, no one I knew was openly gay. My contact with homosexuality until then was probably quite standard. When I was seven, my mother talked to me about people called "fairies." She warned me to watch out for them, explaining that their being was a pity for them and a nuisance for the rest of us. From then on, the issue was absent from conversation at residence, except when something about Anita Bryant came on the news. We all regarded Anita as somewhat off the wall, but not out of any deeply felt views on homosexuality. At school, the words "gay" and "fag" were used only as insults to students so awkward or unpopular that the term "wimp" would not do. Homosexuality was spotlighted only once: when the women's studies class invited a lesbian to speak and half the parents called up to complain.
These
When Your Best Friend Tells You He's Gay
Gay people are engaged in an ongoing struggle to own their rights recognized and respected. As a linear person talking primarily to other straights. I aspire to support all who are oppressed because of their sexual orientation. The focus on gay men as opposed to lesbians is only a reflection of my personal knowledge.
A year ago, no one I knew was openly gay. My contact with homosexuality until then was probably quite standard. When I was seven, my mother talked to me about people called "fairies." She warned me to watch out for them, explaining that their being was a pity for them and a nuisance for the rest of us. From then on, the issue was absent from conversation at residence, except when something about Anita Bryant came on the news. We all regarded Anita as somewhat off the wall, but not out of any deeply felt views on homosexuality. At school, the words "gay" and "fag" were used only as insults to students so awkward or unpopular that the term "wimp" would not do. Homosexuality was spotlighted only once: when the women's studies class invited a lesbian to speak and half the parents called up to complain.
These